-3 Degrees

With a nudge and a groggy "What time is it?," I roll over under our cozy down comforter.  Jason slides his finger across his IPhone screen.  "Time to get up," he replies, "and it is -3 right now with a windchill of -19 degrees Fahrenheit." 


NEGATIVE NINETEEN WINDCHILL.


What does that mean?  Who decides what it really feels like out there?


According to Wikepedia it means this:


"The human body loses heat largely by evaporation. The rate of heat loss by a surface depends on the wind speed above that surface: the faster the wind speed, the more readily the surface cools.  Thus, the attempt to maintain a given surface temperature in an environment of faster heat loss results in both the perception of lower temperatures and an actual greater heat loss increasing the risk of adverse effects such as frostbite and death."  


What does 'the perception' of a  -19 windchill feel like?  It feels like the hairs on the inside of my nose are standing up tall and rigid. They create a strange prickly sensation as I walk out my front door.  It feels like it is too cold to walk the dog because his paws would freeze.  It feels like my big toe is having its own little fireworks party of tingling sparks deep inside my wool sock.  It feels like...


HOW DID THE THIRD LARGEST CITY IN THE UNITED STATES GROW UP IN THE ARTIC?????  I mean, L.A., I get it.  It's sunny.  You can grow oranges and wear cute flip flops.  Sure the world would flock there.  And New York.  It's where the boats landed, right?  Maybe people were just tired of traveling.  But Chicago?  People had to travel here, build houses here, stay here even before there was central heat.  Maybe they ate a lot of hot dogs with mustard and deep dish pizza.  Maybe that's why the politics got a little corrupt. Folks were just feeling a little grumpy about their cracking skin and hat heads. And maybe that's why Saturday Night Live keeps hitting up Chicago's Second City for some of the nation's best improv comedians.  If you're going to be freezing cold you might as well find somewhere warm to go and laugh about it.