Today, while standing with a rubber blue ball squeezed between my legs, I stared back at myself in an overly lit room and thought, "Who is that woman staring back at me?." Surrounded by a dozen other women in spandex I was trying out a new form of fitness creativity called Barre 3. The class was supposed to be a mix of yoga, Pilates, and ballet- an interesting mix of activities that sparked my interest when my sweet friend Lenny mentioned trying it out together. The class turned out to be a few butt squeezes and leg lifts and a whole lot of talking about "this being the best thing you have ever done in your whole life for your body." Hmmm... I pondered, better than snowskiing? eating a dark chocolate bar? water skiing? or a massage? Not so sure, but I was trying to have a good attitude. Maybe I too will walk away from this class with ballerina posture!
As I looked around the room I saw lots of women with semi-fit bodies, highlighted ponytails, crows feet creeping from their eyes, and a slow deepening of expression around the mouth that seperates us thirty-forty somethings from the twentysomething set. How did I get here?, I wondered? I feel terribly out of place. These women should be my friends' moms...and then, I looked in the mirror. An epiphany struck. Caroline, you are ONE OF THESE WOMEN. Yikes! What happened? How did I get here so fast? Who is that face staring back at me in the mirror with the slightly tired eyes and hair that needs a root touch-up???
And then, enlightenment struck. IT IS ME. So this is how aging happens. It is like an out of body experience. There you are, quietly minding your own business thinking you are still just out of college, when you find yourself standing in a room full of women YOUR age and they look too old to be your age. I felt like I was floating over the classroom, somehow watching my future, but it was today. You faithful readers out there who have gone before me...is this how it happens? Is this how you find yourself suddenly turning 50,60, 70, or beyond and thinking, "Who is that woman staring back at me?."
you are hysterical. I think what happened is life with Jason marched across your face...
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ReplyDeleteCarolyn, how funny. Today I was sitting at the hair dresser for two hours, removing the gray from my hair, and the whole time I was pondering my own vanity. I was trying to decide how much longer I want to hide my "real self" before I let nature and gray hair add a few years to my face. I was thinking of 50, but I'm not promising.
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